Aug 12 2009
a message from Jesus/Yeshua channeled by Pamela Kribbe
Saturday, 9 August, 2008
Dear friends, it gives me great pleasure to be with you again. You are all brave warriors. Your very presence in a physical body on earth today speaks of your great courage and readiness to face up to darkness, within and without and to throw your light on it, the light of your consciousness. You are warriors in the spiritual sense and your weaponry consists of both compassion and discernment. One does not overcome the fears and illusions of your reality by love and compassion alone. These essential, predominantly feminine qualities need to be complemented by the masculine qualities of clarity and discernment. Compassion enables you to perceive the core of light in any expression of duality, for instance to recognize the light of someone’s soul even if their personality is full of negativity. Discernment makes you aware of the presence of fear and power-related energies in any such expression and it enables you to distance yourself from it, to let it go from your energy field.
To know who you are you have to let go of what you are not. Discernment helps you let go of that which you are not. Discernment is the “energy of the sword,” the energy that helps you set boundaries for yourself and find your own way. I call it the masculine energy and it is a necessary complement to the feminine qualities of understanding and forgiveness. I am stressing the importance of “the sword of discernment” in this channeling, for it is very relevant to the issue we will discuss today.
Today I would like to speak of your relationship with your parents and with your birth family in general. When you enter a path of spiritual growth, this issue will at some point be in the forefront of your attention.
One might look upon your birth in a physical body as a fall into darkness, if you dissociate it from any notions of sin or guilt. The birthing process is really a plunge into the deep that you have consciously decided upon from some part of your soul. At the core of your soul, you have decided to take upon you this present incarnation, and you felt the trust and perseverance needed to “accomplish the mission.” However at the moment you plunge in, so to speak, you are soaked in a state of not-knowing, a state of temporary unawareness. As soon as you enter the material reality of earth, your consciousness becomes veiled or hypnotized by certain illusions which are nothing but the deeply ingrained habits of the majority of people on earth. This is the net that is cast around you.
When you enter the earth life, the memory of “the other side” is still fresh and alive. But you have no words to express it, no way of communicating the truth of it, the simple things like the unconditional love and safety that surround you everywhere you go. The energy of Home is still self-evident to you, like the feel of water to a fish. But then you enter the physical world and the psychological reality of your parents. You reach out to them, you want to keep that sense of Home alive but it seems that you are cut off, like a net cast around the “fishy part” of you. This is the birth trauma that has physical as well as deeply spiritual aspects to it.
The net that catches you as you fall is predominantly spun by your parents’ way of being, their basic outlook on life, their ways of relating to themselves, their hopes and desires for you. When you were born, the collective consciousness on earth was still in the grip of ego based consciousness, as it is even now. Times are changing, but there is a kind of beginning stage in which things need time to gain momentum before real, fundamental change is actually brought about. At present you are still in these beginning stages, and the inner work you do is vital in this respect. So when you entered earth, you entered a reality dominated by ego based consciousness and you got acquainted with it through the energy of your parents.
When you enter the reality of ego based consciousness as represented by your parents, you get to deal with a number of pervasive illusions, of which I wish to name three important ones.
1. The loss of mastery
The first illusion is the illusion of the loss of mastery. This illusion makes you forget, while you grow up and become an adult, that you are the creator of everything that happens in your life. Most people do not recognize what happens in their life as their own creation. They often feel they are a victim of “greater powers” that make and shape their life. This is the loss of mastery.
2. The loss of unity
With the plunge into collective human consciousness as portrayed by your parents, you also lose your sense of unity with all that lives. The basic realization of the “oneness of all things” is slowly filtered out of your consciousness. You are encouraged to build your own ego. According to ego based consciousness, we are all essentially separate beings, struggling for our own existence, struggling for survival, nourishment and acknowledgement. We seem to be confined to our own body and locked into our own psychological reality with no true and open connection to “the other.” This is the illusion of separation and the tragic sense of loneliness that accompanies it.
3. The loss of love
And then there is the loss of love, meaning the sense of unconditional joy and safety that belongs to the very heart of you like a natural birthright. As you enter the earth plane on which the energy of love is not self-evident at all, you gradually start to confuse love with all kinds of energies that are not love, such as admiration, wealth or emotional dependency. These confused notions of love affect your relationships and basically make you continually search for something outside of you to regain that sense of unconditional love that is actually deep inside you.
How these illusions or losses affect you depends on the specific energy of your parental house and your family environment. Generally the parental consciousness is a mixture of ego and heart, of fear and light. There are certain areas in which your parents are likely to be very attached to or hooked up with the illusions mentioned above. But at other points they may be quite enlightened, for instance by having experienced suffering and inner growth in some area which opened up their hearts. The specific way in which they are stuck in the illusions of ego based consciousness is different for each parent or family.
When you enter this specific configuration of energies that makes up your birth family, your consciousness is wide open with hardly a sense of personal boundaries yet. As a baby, you take in your parents’ energies very thoroughly, like a basic imprint that has a deep effect on how you experience things later. There is no filter yet. It is only much later when you become aware of yourself as yourself, roughly during puberty, that you grow the consciousness needed to sift though these energies and find out what feels good and natural to you and what does not.
First you attach yourself very strongly to the paradigm of your parents, and then as you grow older and gain more self-awareness, you start to question your parents’ outlook on things as you are looking for your own sense of identity. This psychological growth process is very much akin to the transition from ego based consciousness to heart based consciousness. The natural stages of earth life, the biological and psychological cycles and seasons, correlate with natural growth stages in the spiritual sense. The transition from ego to heart based consciousness often runs parallel with overcoming the limiting, fearful energies that controlled your birth family.
The cosmic birth trauma that you experience when you are born as an individual soul (see chapter Cosmic birthing pain, p.121) is to some extent repeated every time you begin a new earth life. At the time of your birth, your parents belong to the energy of the earth. They have already adapted to this dimension, to the laws that apply here. Often these are limiting laws which are not at all self-evident to the child. The parents thus represent the ego based consciousness for the child, the energy of the three illusions. The child meets these through the parental home, and the way in which they have taken shape in the parents will influence the child strongly for the rest of its life.
Especially in the first three months, the child takes in its surroundings very deeply. The energies of the parents sink into the child’s consciousness unhampered by rational thought or defense. On the other hand there is still a “piece of heaven” in its memory, a part of the child’s consciousness that is untainted by the illusions, that knows love, mastery and oneness as the natural state of being. This awareness collides with the ego based energies around it, and this is a deeply painful conflict. It can make the child want to turn around and go back “home;” it can cause grave resistance to life at the very start. It is actually the cosmic birth trauma repeated over again.
How does the child handle this collision or conflict of energies? Most often, it shuts down some parts of himself or herself. Some parts of the child’s consciousness will go into hiding. The child will tend to comply with the energies of the parents, adapt itself to them, for it is wholly dependent upon them from the start. The child is in a very vulnerable physical state and it has a great desire to be nurtured and loved by the parents. Its memory of the natural state of oneness, love and mastery is actually the child’s gift to the parents, but they are often unable to receive this gift, once they have been veiled by the energy of the illusions. They are thus unable to truly receive the child.
Parents have at some point been children as well, of course, and have gone through the same process. Parents do not consciously force their fears and illusions onto their children. However as adults they have unwittingly absorbed many energies of ego based consciousness.
At the moment of the birth of a child, parents often experience a temporary awakening. Watching this innocent little creature coming out of the womb, entrusting itself to the world, so open and vulnerable, stirs a deep sense of awe in almost anyone. This sacred moment opens the gates to Home wide open in the parents’ consciousness and they – unknowingly – reach out to the divine core inside of them that knows unconditional love and oneness. They enter a sacred space for a while, and they feel who they are beyond the illusions. But often this is a temporary state of bliss, because afterwards things will settle down and “get back to normal.” Their ways of thinking and feeling will tend to fall back into the patterns they were used to. And thus the opening to heart based consciousness closes down again.
And what happens to the child that grows up? Most children choose to adapt so strongly to the parental frame of reference that they lose touch with their original soul energy that they were still very much aware of in the beginning of their incarnation. In this first phase of life (until puberty) they are so involved in focusing themselves into this world and getting love and attention from their parents, that they themselves forget who they are.
How does this affect the child? The child has an unbridled longing for love and safety and when it stumbles upon fearful, blocked parts in the parents’ energies, it will be confused by them. It will experience pain and a sense of abandonment. But it will hide these emotions from itself, because they are too painful to fully realise when you are in such a state of vulnerability and openness. What the child will do is put on blindfolds and create illusionary images of love. To survive emotionally, it will allow itself to be confused by the false images of the parents because if unconditional love is not available, conditional love seems better than none. The child will generally bend over backwards to get the love and safety it needs and remembers from Home. And therefore it will mistake the wrong energies for love. For example it will confuse love with a parent’s pride in certain achievements or a parent’s emotional need for the child.
Whenever the child achieves something that makes the parents proud and the child is complimented for it, they may feel their heart open up from gladness that they are liked and appreciated. But if the parental pride is not from a source of genuine understanding of the child, if it is not based upon what the child itself aspires to but more on what society expects from the child, then the pride is really a kind of poison. The child is rewarded for living up to external standards, whereas love means that one gets in touch with the child’s inner standards – what they want to achieve in this lifetime for themselves. When attention is systematically focused on outer achievements, the child will be fooled into believing that achievement equals love and they will tend to grow a guilty conscience when they are not doing “what is right,” what they are supposed to do according to external standards. As an adult, they may become someone who does not recognize when their boundaries are crossed or when they are working too hard. They will simply find that they feel the urge to achieve all the time, not understanding why working hard has become an addiction.
Another distortion of the true energy of love is when the child starts to confuse love with emotional dependency. Many children feel loved when they feel needed by their parents. They are actually filling a hole in their parents’ heart, a hole that the parents have not taken care of themselves, and when the child steps into it, it offers itself as a substitute parent. It seeks to provide the love and support the parents are missing inside. In this way, it wants to please the parents and get the love it so sorely needs. But this kind of service is not love, of course. It is a dangerous entanglement of energies that will create a lot of difficulties later on in both the relationship between the parents and the child and in the intimate relationships that the child will enter as an adult.
Many parents have experienced a lack of unconditional love in their own childhood. They were not truly received by their parents either. This has left a deep seated pain and a sense of abandonment in their being. When they have a child themselves, they embrace it with mixed signals. On the one hand, there is genuine love in them but on the other hand, there is the subconscious need “to make up for the loss.” Parents often try to heal their own emotional wounds through the relationship with their child. When they do so unconsciously, they use the child as a substitute parent – the child needs to give them the love they so sorely missed in their own childhood.
When that happens, the messages “I love you” and “I need you” get completely mixed up for the child. The child’s energy will not be her own anymore, because it will feel sucked up by the parent’s need, and this being sucked up will actually feel good to the child! It will provide a false sense of safety which by the time the child is an adult will make her feel like she is being loved deeply by someone when her energy is depleted and owned by that person. She will feel loved and appreciated when she is stretching her limits to give the most she can. She will interpret emotional dependency, even jealousy and possessiveness, as a form of love whereas these energies are diametrically opposed to it. This tragic loss of self is born from the association of love with need.
So far I have stressed that when you come to earth as a child, you are submerged into an “ocean of forgetfulness,” a net of illusions that at first seems to tie you down very thoroughly. However from the soul level, you consciously allow yourself to be led astray. Deep down inside when you incarnate on earth, you trust that you will find the solution and the way out. It is your mission to find the way out of the illusions and to bring the “energy of the solution,” the energy of love and clarity, out into the world, available to others.
At certain times in your life, there will be opportunities and possibilities that will help you fulfill this mission. As you grow up, you will meet certain people or situations that will invite or challenge you to find out who you are. You will be gently pushed or, if you are stubborn, violently provoked by life to “detangle the knot.” You need to let go of the false images of love that were part of your upbringing, part of your parents’ energy. This may trigger an identity crisis, similar to what has been described in the first part of this book as the first stage in the transition from ego to heart. It may seem that nothing is certain anymore and that everything you believed in is under scrutiny. Indeed, your soul will leave no stone unturned to bring you Home. Your soul will knock on your door incessantly until you open up and set yourself free.
Major events in your life are always geared to offer you opportunities to grow and return to who you are. But it takes courage and determination to get to the bottom of this quest and to regain the energies of the newborn child, untainted by the illusions of the loss of mastery, love and oneness. You will likely find yourself opposed to your own soul energy for a while, for it may lead you astray from what you regarded as normal and befitting for you. Your soul may seem a wayward guest to you, as you have been getting used to the ways of the world, the ways of your birth family.
It takes both the male energy of self-consciousness and discernment and the female energy of love and understanding to release yourself from ego based consciousness. Regarding your parents, discernment means that you distance yourself from the fear ridden and limiting energies they have fed you. Remember the importance of “the energy of the sword” that I mentioned in the beginning. To let go of your birth family in the spiritual sense, you need to be able to distinguish between their energy and your own and you need to be able to “cut the cords” that limit and suffocate you.
This is not primarily about expressing anger and frustration to your parents or telling them where they were wrong about you. It may be a good thing sometimes to try to make clear to them your position on things or your feelings about them. But in many cases, they may not understand what you are trying to tell them. They may not resonate with the part of you that is “different” and at odds with their outlook on life. Releasing the ties to the parental energy means first and foremost to release the energy from your own mind and emotions. It is about looking within and finding out to what extent you implicitly live by your parents’ set of illusions, by their do’s and don’ts which were based on fear and judgment.
Once you are clear about this and you allow yourself to let that go, you will be free to forgive them and really “leave the parental house.” It is only after you sever the cords on the inner level and take responsibility for your own life that you can really let your parents be. You will have clearly said “no” to their fears and illusions (sword of discernment), but at the same time you will see that your parents are not identical with their fears and illusions. They also are children of God simply trying to fulfill their soul mission. Once you feel this, you can feel their innocence and you can forgive.
In a sense you have been the victim of your parents – your parents as they represented ego based consciousness in your childhood. You have temporarily and partly lived according to their illusions. In a way you had no choice, as their child. However to transcend your sense of being the victim here is one of the most powerful breakthroughs you can have in your life. It makes you a free person when you can recognize the deep energetic imprints from your childhood and consciously decide which ones benefit you and which ones you’d rather let go. This is mastery.
You then no longer subconsciously adapt to the wishes and longings of your parents when they are not your own. At the same time, you no longer rebel against them either. You can see the false images they offered you as simply not belonging to you, period. You do not need to judge your parents for burdening you with these aspects. You can be loving and discerning at the same time.
One might say that you are introduced to ego based consciousness through your parents and you transcend it through them as well, by letting them go in love and forgiveness and by recognizing yourself as the independent master that you are.
Lightworkers and their parents
At this point I would like to speak specifically about the lightworker soul in relation to his or her birth family. Lightworkers often carry within them an extra assignment in regard to their parents or birth family. When they come to earth, Lightworkers have the specific intention to awaken, to set themselves free from ego based consciousness and to plant the seeds of Christ consciousness on earth. More strongly than others, lightworkers want to teach and heal others, helping them grow towards a heart based consciousness.
For that reason, many lightworker souls are born with parents or in families which are heavily stuck in the reality of ego based consciousness. Because it is their intention to break open stuck and rigid energy patterns, lightworkers are drawn like a magnet to “problem situations” in which the energy is stagnant, like in a dead-end alley. The lightworker comes in with a certain awareness, a certain spiritual sense which makes him or her “different,” not fitting into the family’s expectations or ambitions. The lightworker child will somehow, by what she radiates or expresses as her truth, challenge the family’s basic assumptions about life. She almost instinctively will do everything to get the energy moving and flowing again.
While the lightworker soul thus wants nothing more than to be of service to the parents and the family, they might look upon her as the odd one out, even as the black sheep. When the inner beauty and purity of the lightworker child is not recognized as such, she will often temporarily get lost in emotions of loneliness and even depression.
When they start their incarnation, lightworkers have the confidence deep down that they will find their way out, that they will overcome the limiting energy of their birth family. However when they are actually born on earth and grow up, they are exposed to the same dilemmas and confusions as any other child. In a certain sense they experience this confusion more deeply and more intensely. Because they are spiritually aware souls who are often older and wiser than their parents, they are very much aware that “something is not right” about the energy of their environment. On the inner level they clash head-on with the parents’ energies, not understanding or resonating with their mind set or behavior. This clash causes great distress inside them, gentle and sensitive as they are. They have to find a way to survive emotionally, coping with the fact that they both love the parents dearly and are very different from them. This causes a lot of psychological problems in lightworkers ranging from loneliness, insecurity and fear to addiction, depression and self destruction.
Thus your journey to earth and to places of darkness where the energy is stuck and hostile is not without risk. It is a dangerous mission. Don’t forget why I call you brave warriors! It is for this reason; you are like pioneers who venture out into strange and unknown territory. There are no signposts or markers. The environment in which you start your journey is inhospitable and does not feel like home. You will have to create the energy of home for yourself, with only your own feelings and intuition as your compass. As a lightworker, you are a pioneer who wants to break the barriers of old and stifling thought patterns and release the energy stuck within. You are almost always the first one in your environment to do so. You do not meet your soul mates until later. It is the struggle by yourself that marks you as the true warrior that you are. You will have to find the way out by yourself and once you have done so you will attract likeminded spirits into your life, people who reflect your awakened state of being.
The solitary struggle you all have to go through to discover your light is the heaviest burden for you. On the soul level you have chosen this path consciously, but to live through it as a child of flesh and blood is a painful thing that wounds you deeply. I urge you to feel and recognize this pain in yourself, because only by connecting to it can you transform and release it. Once you know that wounded child inside that took the cross of alienation upon its fragile shoulders, you will get to the core of your burden. When you get to the core, the solution is nearby. You only need to embrace the pain of that child with a pure and deep awareness. From this awareness an energy of compassion and deep respect will reach out to the child. You will lift the cross just by being with yourself and truly loving and cherishing that part of you that is “different.” This is how you bring the child home and fulfill your mission as the pioneer that you are.
Resolving family karma
The lightworker’s assignment in regard to their birth family is to become who they are. In doing so, they accomplish their mission. It is not their task to change their family; it is not your job to change anything outside of you. You are not here to make the world a better place. You are here to awaken yourself. And yes, when you do so the world will become a better place, because your light will shine upon it and bring joy and enlightenment to others as well. But do not focus on the world, whether it is your family or any other relationship you enter.
The real work is to let go of all those bits of ego based fear and illusion that you yourself absorbed so deeply as a child. Getting to know these energetic imprints which partly created your personality, and releasing the parts of it that do not belong to you is a challenging and intense process. It is about peeling away all the layers of the onion; it is about being born a second time.
By stressing the profundity of this inner process, this second birth, I do not mean to discourage you. On the other hand I would like you to have deep respect for yourselves. You are the bravest warriors I know. You are pioneers who, by kindling your own light in places of darkness and hostility, pave the way for a new consciousness on earth.
It is not your job to kindle the light in someone else’s heart. It is up to them if they do so. You may offer a spark, you may set an example, but in no way are you responsible for anyone else’s awakening. This is important to stress especially with regard to your birth family. You often feel instinctively as a child and more consciously as a grown-up that you have to save your parents from their fears and illusions. Moreover you often think that you have failed in this assignment. You feel that you have not truly been able to help your parents in the way you had envisioned.
This line of thought rests on a mistaken perception of what helping really means and what your assignment is with regard to your parents. In reality, the situation is this. From your birth onward, you begin to absorb your parents’ energies very strongly as if they were your own. You cannot easily distinguish any more where you begin and they end. Because you absorb their fears and illusions as well, you get intimately in touch with their emotional burdens. These burdens may have been passed over to them through several generations on either side of the family. There may be a karmic aspect to it, meaning that the same issue gets repeated over and over again until the “spell is broken.” This you may call family karma. There may be issues relating to an unbalanced male or female energy, energies resulting from old slavery traditions, issues pertaining to certain illnesses, etc. This kind of karmic burden is solved when the energy stuck inside of it gets released and thus is not passed along to the next generation. Family karma is resolved when at least one member of the family breaks the link by setting herself free from the emotional burden that she absorbed from childhood and that may even be in her genes.
The family member who “breaks the spell” does so first and foremost by helping herself. It is about being focused on your own inner growth and expansion. This growth and expansion has an effect on the “energy of the family.” It opens up the possibility for members of that family to find the way out as well. The lightworker who has freed himself of the emotional dead-end ally provides an energetic trail for others of his family. This he accomplishes by his inner work and what he radiates because of that, not by actually trying or even pushing others to change and move forward. What she offers her birth family energetically is the possibility of change. Her energy mirrors the possibility of change to them and that is all she needs to do.
Whether the family members pick up on the trail is entirely up to them. Never are you responsible for nor is your spiritual mission dependent upon someone else’s decision to change or not. You may have freed yourself of the karmic burden that your family saddled you with and be ridiculed or rejected for it by your family, and yet your mission will have been entirely successful. You will have crushed the hypnotic hold that karmic patterns can have over a family line and if you have children, the emotional burden will not be passed along to them. This is what your soul mission is about.
Imagine you are living in a valley which is quite barren and dry. All of your community tells you that you cannot get out of this valley – it is all there is. You seem to be the only one to remember that there are much more lush and fertile lands than this. So after a lot of consideration, you decide to try your luck and climb out of that valley. The climb up takes a tremendous amount of strength and energy. Not only is the road very steep, there are no road signs or marks to hold onto either. While you are climbing up you leave a track behind you. At some point, you come up out of that valley and the landscape that lies before you overwhelms you with joy and a sense of recognition. You knew there was something out there that felt much more like home than your birth ground. Enthusiastically you peer down and look for your family. You would like them to join you and marvel at this great vista. You would like to share your victory. But you can see no one down there and when you notice some folks far off, they do not seem interested in your journey at all.
This is what happens frequently to lightworker souls. I ask you not to mourn the loss of your family in this respect. You will have offered them a great service by walking out of the valley, by clearing the way and leaving a track. This track will stay there and it will be used one day by anyone who wants to climb out of that particular valley. The track is an energy space that you have made available to them.
It is the building of this track that was your purpose when you were born with these parents and in this family. It is not your purpose to make your family go up as well or to carry them out of the valley on your shoulders! That is not your task. Whenever you try to figuratively drag your parents or family up that steep hill, you are hindering your own growth and you will be disillusioned and disappointed. It is not the way of spiritual growth and alchemy. Those others that you love and want to share your light with may choose to live in the valley for another century or more. It is up to them. But one day in their own time, they will uncover a little track that goes up and they will think: “Hey, this is interesting, let’s go up and try this; I am not having a good time down here anymore.” And off they go. They will start their own journey of inner growth, their own climb into the light. And isn’t it wonderful, isn’t it absolutely precious, that they will find marks along the way, a track for them to hold onto? They will have to go through their own struggles, but they will have a beacon set out for them which lightens their journey. As a pioneer you will have cleared the way though a wild and unknown territory and the road paved by you will be used with gratitude and honor.
To be really free and to regain your mastership as an independent spiritual being, you have to let go of your birth family. You have to let go of them, not only as their child but also as their parent. Let me explain this double bind. The child in you needs to let go of the hope that your parents will offer you unconditional love and safety. It has to turn to you for this and you have to help it let go of the angry, sad and disappointed part of the child that feels betrayed by your parents. This is the child part. However you also need to let go of the part of you that wants to be your parents’ parent. It is typical of lightworker souls that at some point when they grow up, they start to feel like they are the parents of their parents. Because of their inborn desire to teach and heal and their developed spiritual awareness, they often see their parents’ fears and illusions clearly and they want to heal them. This may get you into a lot of struggle with your parents because your desire to help them is often intertwined with an unconscious need to be recognized for who you really are. In other words, the wounded child speaks through you when you try to help your parents, and it is a recipe for disaster when you try to help others through the wounded parts of you. You will end up more wounded and your parents will likely end up upset or confused.
To let go of your parents means to let go of any desire to change them. You have to understand that it is not your task to lead them anywhere. Your mission is to deal with your own path – that is all. After you have truly parted with your parents, letting go of the double bind, you will find that a new space opens up between you and them, much more free and open. If they are still alive, the relationship with your parents may become less strained, as the energies of reproach and guilt will have left the scene. On the other hand, you may feel you do not want to visit them so often anymore. There may simply be a lack of common interests. In any case you will feel more free in this relationship, setting your own course through life without the need for approval by them or the tendency to get angry and upset if they do not agree with you.
In your life, you may now get in touch with people who belong to your “spiritual family.” Your spiritual family has nothing to do with biology, genes or heredity. It is a family of kindred souls. Often you know them from past lives in which you bonded through friendship, love or a shared mission. It is very easy to get along with them, for you share an inner likeness; you belong to the same family. It is a kind of homecoming you experience. What made you feel different and lonely among other people first now becomes the foundation of your connection and mutual recognition. Bonding with your spiritual family is a true source of joy in earth life. The key to allowing it into your life is to find your own way “out of the valley” and to recognize the light within. When you are able to recognize your own light in an environment that does not mirror it back to you, you become independent and free. Unburdened by the karmic aspects of your history, the fears and illusions that held you down, you will attract relationships into your life which are based on love and respect and which reflect your awakened divinity.
original source: http://spiritlibrary.com/pamela-kribbe/letting-go-of-your-birth-family